Larry's Not White, Larry's Clear

from Uphill Both Ways In The Snow (B​-​Sides) by Mike Thomas

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about

I LOVE this song and it came so close to being added to the Hi Anxious tracklist. This one focuses on the struggles of growing older and dealing with the anxiety that comes with it (a constant theme in all my songs, as you might have noticed). Throughout the song, I wonder if I'm too far gone to truly get into a good head-space, as if the time for healing has come and gone and I've missed my opportunity.

lyrics

Separation anxiety
From a stable psyche
In the dirt where I broke
Sucking gravel and choked
On the fact I'm done growing
have nothing to show of
The man I've become
I think I fucked this up, oh my god

And I just can't believe it
My whole life has come and gone
In my head I'm screaming
I just want it to stop

I don't think that I can take
Another cloudy day cause really
I've been waiting so long
To feel the heat of the sun
On my face, so please before I break
Can I try being happy for once
Or has the damage been done? Am I too late?

These nightmares were daydreams
Before I got lazy
And let myself hurt
Now I picture the worst
Possible outcomes
Each time that I think of
How my life could be
What's wrong with me, oh my god

Please, believe I'm trying
But every time I get hope, I'm let down
By now there's no denying
I might need help on this one

I don't think that I can take
Another cloudy day cause really
I've been waiting so long
To feel the heat of the sun
On my face, so please before I break
Can I try being happy for once
Or has the damage been done?

Is it too late for me to worry about
Fixing all of this
Cause I can't get the words to say out my mouth
They're too big to fit
My old friends haven't been around
For quite a bit
So If I have a nervous breakdown
No one will give a shit

I don't think that I can take
Another cloudy day cause really
I've been waiting so long
To feel the heat of the sun
On my face, so please before I break
Can I try being happy for once
Or has the damage been done? Am I too late?

credits

from Uphill Both Ways In The Snow (B​-​Sides), released June 12, 2022

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Mike Thomas Aurora, Colorado

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