Hail Mary

from Uphill Both Ways In The Snow (B-Sides) by Mike Thomas

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about

This song was really just me asking "If I go through the effort of trying to heal myself emotionally, am I going to be happy with the outcome?". The "post-therapy" life I had imagined had a big question mark on it and so the "Hail Mary" that I reference in this song is my attempt at diving into a mindset that will hopefully make me feel better, without knowing if I'll come out victorious on the other side.

lyrics

I don't want to die but there are certain things inside of me
that keep me from what I could be, they're riddled with toxicity
And I don't want to lie, but these small things just make me hate myself,
I feel compelled to ask for help, cause my heads become a prison cell

And I need to kill the little parts of me
the make believe enemies
that convinced me there's no remedy
And I need to eliminate the negative thoughts that live deep within my brain that make me question if

Fighting is worth it
Am I really better off?
Trying to be perfect
While I'm covered up in flaws

So here we go a hail Mary for the ages
Will I survive the war I'm waging?
I'm not saying I'll be perfect every day
But if make it out alive, maybe I'll want to stay that way

I don't always cry, but there are certain days that I'm a mess
I'm depressed and I confess that I suppress the hopelessness
I'd throw these thoughts aside, but in my blood there is a sedative
that makes me hypersensitive and afraid to face my narrative

Cause I'm not a fan of the story yet,
Let me know when it stops being sad and it gets glorious
Cause I think I've got some better things to do
Like licking wounds, but what's the use, if I know I'm gonna lose?

Is trying even worth it?
Am I really better off?
How can I be certain
That I won't be written off?

So here we go a hail Mary for the ages
Will I survive the war I'm waging?
I'm not saying I'll be perfect every day
But if make it out alive, maybe I'll want to stay that way

credits

from Uphill Both Ways In The Snow (B-Sides), released June 12, 2022

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Mike Thomas Aurora, Colorado

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May 15

Feinstein's at Hotel Carmichael

Carmel, IN

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