This was actually the first song I wrote and recorded after my musical hiatus. It had been 3 years since I had written anything, so I wanted to do something simple. I was playing guitar one morning and then started writing and it just took off. By the end of that same day, this song was done and it definitely lit a fire in me that led to Hi Anxious, I'm Dad.
The song is basically my "COVID Song". I just felt like the world was beginning it's final act and I was miserable; locked up in quarantine and forced to face emotions I didn't know I had. Despite all that, I still felt like I was the best I've ever been. I was depressed and on edge all the time, but still; It was the peak of my happiness, which felt pathetic overall. I felt like the world was teasing me; I had worked so long towards feeling better and right when I started feeling just a sliver of hope; a pandemic hits. The irony was astonishing and even more so, I felt like I was right back where I had started.
lyrics
We were face to face
With the end of times
So we sheltered how we felt
And locked ourselves inside
Everything has changed
We're living different lives
But the truth remains;
I'm not alright
I can't say I'm not happy
Can't say I'm not the best that I have ever been
But I still feel like collapsing, pulling my heart from my chest
And begging for the end
And still that's the best I've ever been
I felt like I was able
To take on anything
But the world turned it's tables
And now I'm face down in the ring
The walls that surround me
Don't have pleasantries to spare
they know everything about me
And still don't want me there
I can't say I'm not happy
Can't say I'm not the best that I have ever been
But I still feel like collapsing, pulling my heart from my chest
And begging for the end
And still that's the best I've ever been
cause I have struggled
All my life
Trying to find the greener grass
That they say grows on the other side
But my world crumbled
When it started feeling fine
And I'm now I'm by myself
And I'm the only person I don't like
I can't say I'm not happy
Can't say I'm not the best that I have ever been
But I still feel like collapsing, pulling my heart from my chest
And begging for the end
cause it's the best I've ever been
Cause it's so hard to be happy
So hard to feel blessed
As you watch the things you love around you fall to pieces like the rest
World, you almost had me
Believing I could win
You must be so fucking happy
Knowing this is the best I've ever been
Thin Lear's sophisticated rock music is tempered with soaring chamber pop accents and an undeniable gift for melody. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 30, 2020
The band's latest project includes twenty-eight new short songs that clock-in at no longer than just under three minutes. Bandcamp New & Notable May 15, 2020
Twenty-three delightful indiepop and bedroom folk tracks that emphasize small arrangement and huge hooks, benefitting Feeding America. Bandcamp New & Notable May 11, 2020
